The holiday season is a time filled with vacations, family, time off, relaxation, traditions, gifts, and holiday cheer…right?
While this is often true, and is the message pushed by our culture and reinforced by social media, there is often an underside to the holiday season for many people. Just ask any therapist, and they will likely tell you that many people come in to therapy during the holidays to discuss difficulties like job stress, feeling overwhelmed, sadness or grief, financial strain, or being worried about navigating family dynamics.
If these sound like worries that you are facing, then you’ve come to the right place! Here at Deeper Roots, we would like to help support you through some of these difficulties with some of the coping skills that can help you navigate the holidays.
1. Check In and Breathe!
It is easy to find ourselves swept up in work, school, and getting ready for the holidays, whether this involves buying gifts, travel, increased workload, or just trying to survive until vacation. Having so many things to juggle can tax your mind and body, so it can be helpful to have times sprinkled throughout your day to check in with how you’re doing. Take a second to stop, take one or two deep breaths, and ask yourself, “How am I doing right now?” or “What am I feeling right now?” Try to name whatever state of mind or feeling comes up for you, like “worried,” “tired,” “lonely,” or “content.” This can help calm your nervous system, re-center you in your experience, and help you know what you might need in the moment.
2. Take Time for Yourself
The holidays are times to spend with loved ones and to reflect on the past year, but can often feel chaotic and full. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or tired by all the demands on your time, try to set some time aside to just be by yourself and recharge. We all need a healthy dose of social time and alonetime, and all of us need different amounts of each. Try to make a plan to build in some alonetime, or let your loved ones know when you just need a little break.
3. Coping with National and Global Turmoil
The last few years have brought a world-wide pandemic, more strife in the Middle East, new wars, continued political polarization, and a host of economic and environmental challenges that can subtly seep into our psychological lives. These events can hamper our sense of the world being a predictable place, impact our ability to lean on others in times of need, and sometimes even taken away those we love.
However these events have impacted you, know that it is OK to be wherever you are and that we all need to give ourselves a lot of latitude in terms of how we have been coping. Let yourself laugh, cry, grieve, mourn, pray, or be angry. There is such a wide spectrum of coping and reactions to ongoing global stressors and people cope in many ways. Try to stick to a schedule, limit social media or news exposure, take care of yourself physically, and reach out to friends/loved ones to talk through your thoughts and feelings.
4. Grief and Loss During the Holidays
The holidays are a source of joy and fun for many people, but others may experience grief or loss during the holidays. These feelings can be due to a death or the anniversary of a loss, the reminders of loved ones that come with family gatherings, or even grief at the loss of being able to see loved ones due to illness or COVID-19. If you find yourself feeling unaccountably sad or numb, try to let yourself feel whatever comes up, and consider the possibility that you may be grieving. Grief is a process in which sadness is trying to express itself, and sadness can often lead us to reach out for support. Sadness may also signal that we need to turn inward and reflect. Both of these reactions are normal, and may fluctuate through the process of grieving, and having some of both can facilitate normal mourning. Try to talk with trusted others about what you’re feeling or journal what you are going through. If you find that you are unable to fulfill basic needs, such as eating or taking care of responsibilities, then it may be time to seek professional help.
5. Find Fun, Joy, or Meaning Where and When you Can
While the holidays can be a challenging time, they don’t have to be all challenges! Try to find things that bring you joy, laughter, love, or energy and take a few minutes to intentionally focus your attention on whatever positive aspects you can find in your experiences this holiday season. Look up at the sky, enjoy the snow (or cooler weather for Floridians), go for a walk, watch your nieces/nephews play, look at old happy photos, watch a funny movie, or volunteer your time. It can be easy to get beaten down by stresses and only see the negative, but a little gratitude and intentional turning towards what is good has been shown to increase positivity.
Here are some other resources that provide more detailed information about coping during the holiday season:
Mayo Clinic: Stress, Depression, and the Holidays
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544
PsychCentral: Coping with the Holidays Survival Guide
https://psychcentral.com/holidays#1
NAMI: Tips for Managing the Holiday Blues
https://www.nami.org/blogs/nami-blog/november-2015/tips-for-managing-the-holiday-blues